The U.K. Telegraph recently published an article on the 50 technological advances your children will laugh at. For the most part, I found the post quite amusing but with a serious undertone. To accurately measure the rapid progress by which technology has advanced means to first define progress as being a scalable entity. What this means is that technological progress, by definition must exist outside the sphere of social economic imbalances, a feat somewhat impossible in our current global recession. Nonetheless, I managed to select my favorite top ten from the list as well as five advances which, despite the Telegraph’s optimism, won’t be disappearing from our technology sphere anytime soon.

Soon to go:

1. CDs, DVDs and Minidiscs

These days, mentioning that you still have to ‘rip’ a DVD or ‘burn’ that CD will certainly raise eyebrows in your social circle where the latest trend of media sharing involves the simpler phrases: filesharing and downloading. DVDs and CDs have become obsolete and despite the advent of BluRay, the need to couple silly storage disks with expensive players are quickly discouraging consumers in more favorable directions. The need to physically own a CD/ DVD despite the eye-catching packaging is on a definite way out. They are expensive, are prone to damages and quickly selecting from a track-list is so much simpler than having to get up and change that CD. Soon to go also are the CD hawkers and DVD stores, proudly displaying the latest releases months after you streamed it off fileshare (piracy issues aside). With online media stores in the likes of iTunes and Netflix, you now have the ability to simply transfer your media to your flavor of portal device for easy viewing/ listening whether you’re in your car, at home or at work.

2. TV schedules

Chances are if you remember the old SABC test pattern that had many a merry South African mesmerized for fifteen minutes, then it will probably come as some relief to note that TV is undergoing a huge metamorphosis from being an entity-driven to a demand-driven service. Essentially what this means is that very soon you will be able to choose what you want to watch, negating the need for weekly-long TV schedules. Manufacturers of top peripherals (I refuse to use the word TV), are incorporating a host of functionality such as WiFi and 3G onto a viewing medium capable enough to display fast, streaming, hi-definition video to the consumer (think YouTube). It’s the internet, but on a much bigger scale. No longer will your favorite shows and series be bound to tight time schedules but instead, the flexibility will be left up the the user to pre-program their daily selection. Of course, sports and competition shows, still benefiting from a largely live audience, will still be predominantly schedule driven.

3. Business cards

It used to be cool to flash your business card at a party. It also used to be cool to wear white pants and tightly fitting shirt to a sokkie-jol. Or maybe not. These days you can sms or bluetooth your contact card with your digital signature incorporating your business, home and social profiles in one simple click. With the world aimed at going green, business cards are an unneeded waste of paper and natural energy. And face it, nobody really cares for those shitty little pieces of cardboard anyway.

4. Fax machines

Standing around the office fax while waiting for the fax confirmation and trying to look cool is a total waste of time. Nobody looks cool at the fax machine. Scan and email, its simpler. Did you get that? Scan and email. Everyones doing it, just be doubly sure you don’t scan and email like this

5. Email

By this, I imply ‘webmail’ or mail accounts that only allow for 200K attachments and have a bandwidth limit smaller that your dad’s receding hairline. These days, the majority of savvy users opt for a Gmail or Yahoo mail accounts which feature a host of plugins and are even available for mobile. But even these savvy users are overshadowed by the communicative choice of the younger populace: Twitter, Facebook and instant messaging have proven that a lot can be said in 140 characters. Yet, with the soon-to-go-public, collaboration monster that is Google Wave, even these trends are soon too fade.

6. Keyboards

Okay, maybe I am being a bit over-optimistic but with touch-screen keyboards and the unique iPhone approach to handling applications (pinch, pull, shake!), the noisy clicking that is to be heard from keyboards are (I’m hoping) soon to be a thing of the past. Robert Downey Junior’s Iron Man character or Tom Cruise in Minority Report best demonstrate the idea of incorporating augmented reality onto a touch-screen interface and (I’m wishing), these forms of applications and management software will readily replace the need for bulky keyboards. (Okay, I’m imagining…but hey, this is my post so bugger off if you don’t agree)

7. Cords and cables

“Cords and cables
tales and fables
these were items of doom.
We went wireless
after tripping over this
in our TV room”

Everything is or is-soon-to-be wireless anyway: portable power mats, monitors and even the very air we breathe will soon be cable free. Well, almost.

8. Telephone directories

Telephone directories are now digital and open online databases negate the need to distribute large volumes of wasted paper and ink. One day we will be answerable for our greatest sins and allowing yourself to be listed in one of these printed monstrosities is a great sin indeed.

9. The mouse

Like the keyboard, removing this arthritis-inducing rodent from the list of advancements is long overdue. The mouse, once the big cheese of point-and-click geek games such as Age of Empires and Warcraft, has now reached its inevitable device #fail. Why limit yourself to using one hand when you can use all ten fingers on a touchscreen. Again, my opinion may seem a trifle optimistic but the mouse, unless reworked for the next generation of computing, is out.

10. Desktop software

Software has evolved from packaged disk installations to downloads and service upgrades. Any Linux user, who regularly patches or downloads the latest distro of their flavor will agree. Even companies such as Microsoft are now sitting up and taking note. Cloud computing and open source software and applications are now being integrated into even the most rigid of enterprises, leveraging the need for additional costs and capital expenditure. In the future, software will be delivered architecturally as a service with users downloading there choice, dependent of course, on their platform.

Bold, but not going anytime soon:

11. Laptops

These days your mobile device or PDA is capable of doing all and more that your notebook computer. Unfortunately for us, having a laptop in South Africa means you now have a silly ego and stigma attached to it. Added to this is the fact that most users prefer typing on buttons that are able to handle large clunky fingers. So unless we have all opt for smaller egos and fingers, we’re stuck to using laptops for a while.

12. Petrol-powered vehicles

In a perfect world, we would be driving electricity powered cars. In a perfect world, Eskom would be a charitable conglomerate and all electricity would be free. In a perfect world I would be CEO of Marvel Enterprises, wear wacky costumes to work and shave with my retractable claws. Nuff said.

13. ADSL

If you’ve seen the Telkom ads for 2010, then you probably know that ADSL is here to stay. While connection speeds of the future are available in some parts of the world and downloading HD-quality video actually exists, it will be a long, long while before we have that availability here. See my synopsis on a perfect world in 12 above and replace Eskom with Telkom.

14. Games Consoles

Whether you’re a fan of the Wii or the PS or the DS or the XBox, you’re (like me), probably convinced that gaming runs much smoother on a device constructed chiefly for that specific purpose. Sure, having Prince of Persia on your iPhone is cool but, unfortunately, it cannot compare to playing the latest Need for Speed or Fifa footie on the console with your chums. Some social parties and the technology that drives them are not meant to evolve.

15. Watches

I like watches. I like wearing them and feel incomplete without a small time-keeping mechanism strapped to my wrist. While the Telegraph related watch-wearing to a adorning yourself with a piece of jewelry, I disagree completely. Watches are able to incorporate a myriad of technologies, like this super cool mobile phone wristwatch.